People get into stand-up comedy by and large because they're smart and they have a perspective.

A good competition for comedians would be where a comedian has a conversation and is then quizzed on what the other person says.

Is there an award for the best trophy? I bet they hand out a plaque.

One great way to mess with devout Christians and atheists would be if Jesus came back and said, By the way, you know I'm fake, right?

As hipster chicks age, and their skin starts to sag, tramp stamps sink below waistbands, like the sun slipping into the sea.

In the midst of all the candy and commercialism, let's not lose sight of the true meaning of Halloween: tree worship and animal sacrifice.

Have you ever had a gay friend lose weight and you can't decide if it's good news or not? Hey you look... great?