I was watching Batman, the TV show, on TV Land, on the cable. And Robin said to Batman, Golly, Batman! Why is the Joker so evil!? And Batman said, Careful, Robin. The criminal mind sees the world through a prism the solid citizen dare not peer through. Batman has a more nuanced worldview than the president.

Despite a primitive brain, the octopus possesses an intricate system that helps it decide which tentacle to masturbate with.

I feel sorry for high school teams still named the Cougars. Now what does the coach say? Get out there and play like horny old ladies!

Common sense dictates the term hot fudge sundae has a totally different meaning in prison.

The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.

Centuries ago, human beings created marriage. Later, they looked to the sky and dreamt of traveling to the moon. Coincidence?

I think I had an argument with a hypnotist this morning. It makes perfect sense as I have no memory of it.