I was watching Batman, the TV show, on TV Land, on the cable. And Robin said to Batman, Golly, Batman! Why is the Joker so evil!? And Batman said, Careful, Robin. The criminal mind sees the world through a prism the solid citizen dare not peer through. Batman has a more nuanced worldview than the president.

I wanted to be a comedian. I wanted to meet waitresses and felt that being a comedian was my best way to go about it and I was right.

Where is the good will in the thought, I was going to throw this in the garbage, do you want to wear it?

A lot of people have a particular song that, no matter their mood, turns them on. With me, it's Eleanor Rigby.

What do people in prison say when they meet new friends? Give me your cell number.

You have an obligation to challenge your fans and your viewers.

Now that the Sanctity and Holiness of heterosexual marriage has been destroyed, are they going to cancel The Bachelor?