I bet when all the punctuation marks have a party, they quietly look at exclamation point's wife and think, that poor woman.

There's something vaguely erotic about watching a woman eat a banana while cupping two plums.

Always think twice before asking anything of anyone that ends in the words, on your face.

If studies on lab rats are any indication, human beings have a deep-seated fear of a big, scary cat being let into their cage.

Always remember, you don't stop shitting your pants because you grow old. You grow old because you stop shitting your pants.

If Jesus was a baby, there was a point, on that Holiest of nights, in that Holiest of mangers, where he made a big, Holy load.

When homeless people go camping, how do they know?