I don't want to say my mom is late on trends, but this morning she said, Have a shagadelic day, sweetheart.

One of the coolest things about the word boobs is, when you look at it, it has boobs.

There must be a way to get more of these in me faster, thought the inventor of pea soup as he sat eating peas.

No one has ever thought this: Now that I'm out of therapy and have fixed my mental problems, I think I want to be a ventriloquist.

I can't wait for the day I learn to live in the now!

I don't want to say my mom is late on trends, but this morning she said, Have a shagadelic day, sweetheart.

Women are like pumpkins; you search and search for the perfect one, bring it home, and the next thing you know, you're looking for a knife.