If you want to see what I'll look like as an old guy, check out any recent photo of me.

My daughter will say she's hungry, and I'm like, 'Buddy, you're just bored. Do you understand? And you're already starting a pattern of satisfying an internal disconnect with an external stimulation, and that's a dead-end road, sweetie. Courtney Love lives on that road; you don't want to live on that road.

As Global Warming raises temparatures, it takes longer to cool pies on window sills, and I wonder if this whole thing was caused by hobos.

What's a farmer's market without some guy singing Here Comes The Sun in a way that makes you wish the sun would stop coming up.

Can you have a seance to summon the ghost of a dead zombie?

I don't want to appear to be placing blame, but as far my life is concerned, everything is pretty much my dad's ball's fault.

I don't mind being alone when I'm surrounded by people, I just hate being alone when I'm alone.