I used to pessimistically think I was going to die alone, but now I optimistically know I'm going to die hoping to meet someone.

When homeless people go camping, how do they know?

I can't wait for the day I learn to live in the now!

Where is the good will in the thought, I was going to throw this in the garbage, do you want to wear it?

In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man will probably end up dating the best looking blind chick.

One great way to mess with devout Christians and atheists would be if Jesus came back and said, By the way, you know I'm fake, right?

Drum Competitions are called such because no one wants to win the big Beat Off.