Have you noticed since Global Warming took hold that all the snowmen look kind of angry?
If Abe Lincoln took part in the Republican debates, he would look out of place with his intelligence, compassion and gaping head wound.
Competition is the death of art.
The older I get, the more I look like my favorite shoes.
A big blizzard proves there's no global warming in the same way being out of milk proves there's no such thing as cows.
Chocolate covered peanuts, chocolate covered raisins, chocolate covered pretzels... Chocolate. So afraid to be alone.