Corn is the only food you hold like corn.

When homeless people go camping, how do they know?

The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.

As Global Warming raises temparatures, it takes longer to cool pies on window sills, and I wonder if this whole thing was caused by hobos.

If I had a Volkswagon Beetle. I'd paint the front to resemble Glenn Langdon in War Of The Colossal Beast. Why? Two words: The Ladies.

How do I ask my shrink to stop responding to everything I say with, Too much information! and then giggling behind a pillow?

I like my coffee the way I like my women: after waiting impatiently in a long line.