I have no ability to develop muscle tone. I could do situps all day and still look like a condom full of walnuts.

That which does not kill you isn't finished.

It might not be rational, but I am terrified of getting stuck in an elevator with a bear.

Centuries ago, human beings created marriage. Later, they looked to the sky and dreamt of traveling to the moon. Coincidence?

Having sex with a dead grammar teacher is a violation of past tense usage.

Every Thanksgiving we feed the homeless so they may join us as we celebrate other people finding a home.

That which does not kill you usually circles around and tries again.