If you don't believe in the living dead, how do your explain the Golf Channel?

It might not be rational, but I am terrified of getting stuck in an elevator with a bear.

In a world of war, pain and suffering, all I want for Christmas is an underwater watch and a silver clutch rod for my dirt bike.

I tried synchronized swimming, but felt, over time, I was just going through the motions.

I like to think of murder-suicide as extreme multitasking.

Here's something you never hear: Now that I've worked through all my emotional issues, I'm free to dedicate my life to ventriloquism!

What's a farmer's market without some guy singing Here Comes The Sun in a way that makes you wish the sun would stop coming up.