There's a big difference between poll workers and pole workers. Sadly.
My dog keeps looking at me as if he knows my secret, as if he and he alone can see my soul. That or he wants this pork chop.
This is just a hunch, but I bet airplanes think helicopters are assholes.
Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.
I've never slept with a virgin, but I love breaking the seal on a new peanut butter.
Having kids means there's always someone around to blame your fart on.