Classified ads of the Ku Klux Klan: Tired of all the games? Do you like racial purity, horses and dressing up like a ghost?

Do people in the Ku Klux Klan who die and come back as ghosts have to wear two sheets when attending the rally?

I love it when dogs yawn. Especially when it's in the middle of another dog's speech.

Wrote a science fiction novel about a man who wins an argument with his wife, but it was rejected for being too farfetched.

Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!

Whenever someone starts a statement with, Let me tell you the kind of guy I am, that is a great time to start sawing your own head off.

I got mugged about six months ago. The oddest thing about the entire situation, though, was that I wasn't afraid, which is strange because basically I experience my life through two primary emotions: fear and suppressed fear.