Twitter is not a good place for people who feel they're being followed.
Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!
In an effort to look cool, I am going to stop shouting Hey, you! at airplanes.
Life is like jury duty. Just do it and get it over with.
My fantasy football team got mixed up in another fantasy and now they're stuck on a pirate ship with a chick in a Catwoman suit.
Our dog just wanders around the house with a concerned look on his face. Dogs are just people who can't find their phone.