There's nothing like a clown with a boner to remind you that you're having a nightmare.

One day they will invent a time machine and, like the internet, it will be used primarily for boning.

Every Thanksgiving we feed the homeless so they may join us as we celebrate other people finding a home.

Many stroke survivors look back on their attack as a stroke of luck. Of course, by luck they mean horrible paralysis.

As anyone who's ever adopted a dog will tell you, there's always the fear that one day the birth parents will come scratching at the door.

You write the script, and then you just go over it 400 times and make all the jokes better. It really is true. That's essentially the way it works.

Homo sapiens are the only mammals who intentionally hold Beard Of Bees competitions.