The hole on the face of an acoustic guitar is called the sound hole. The one of the face of its player is called the sincerity hole.

It's been years since any hillbilly has reported getting sodomized by an alien. Did they break up and not tell us?

I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.

Every day is a gift. That said, I've gotten some pretty shitty gifts over the years.

I have all my ex-girlfriends lumped into one big girlfriend I called M.A.N.D.Y.: My, Another Neurotic Disappointment? Yes.

Always think twice before asking anything of anyone that ends in the words, on your face.

Something tells me that Mitt Romney's sex face is the same as his regular face.