The hole on the face of an acoustic guitar is called the sound hole. The one of the face of its player is called the sincerity hole.

I'm the Forrest Gump of comedy.

Having sex with a dead grammar teacher is a violation of past tense usage.

I don't like to generalize, but if you see a guy with his shirt tucked into his shorts, he's probably killed three or four children.

There's a big difference between poll workers and pole workers. Sadly.

As I die, and my life flashes before my eyes, I want to see who made faces at me when I turned my head. That's all I want to see.

I don't really like myself, but I'm way into me, physically.