A big blizzard proves there's no global warming in the same way being out of milk proves there's no such thing as cows.

I love it when dogs yawn. Especially when it's in the middle of another dog's speech.

A big blizzard proves there's no global warming in the same way being out of milk proves there's no such thing as cows.

As anyone who's ever adopted a dog will tell you, there's always the fear that one day the birth parents will come scratching at the door.

You rarely get a convincing lecture on playing to your strength from a bald guy with a ponytail.

I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.

Always think twice before asking anything of anyone that ends in the words, on your face.