I am faced with a bruising dilemma: pay to fix the dishwasher or continue serving everything in waffle cones.
The best part of living in constant terror is you always have a place to live.
Strap On spelled backwards is No Parts. Just sayin'.
If God had wanted women to have giant, fake boobs he'd be a lot like my brother.
Here's something you never hear: Now that I've worked through all my emotional issues, I'm free to dedicate my life to ventriloquism!
Do transvestites have to dress up for Halloween or do they pretty much qualify from the get-go?