My whole approach to marriage is simple: my wife will do something that drives me insane, I won't say anything, and then, later, I'll die of cancer.
Dana GouldShowing joy by jumping up and down and clapping goes away at some point between pre-school and being old enough to go to orgies.
Dana GouldIf studies on lab rats are any indication, human beings have a deep-seated fear of a big, scary cat being let into their cage.
Dana GouldUnshaven dudes in hoodies and ski caps look so hip and cool, until they too close to a grocery cart full of dented cans.
Dana GouldI live in Los Angeles. It's a very liberal city, but it's so hypocritical in what it's liberal about. You can be driving down Hollywood Boulevard, see a guy in lipstick and high heels wearing a fur coat masturbating into a mailbox. People giving him a hard time as they drive by: Hey, is that real fur? Of course not! That's sick!
Dana Gould