Showing joy by jumping up and down and clapping goes away at some point between pre-school and being old enough to go to orgies.

Take away the robots and the special effects, and Star Wars is just the simple story of a group of friends planning a terrorist attack.

Now that the Sanctity and Holiness of heterosexual marriage has been destroyed, are they going to cancel The Bachelor?

Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.

If I had a Volkswagon Beetle. I'd paint the front to resemble Glenn Langdon in War Of The Colossal Beast. Why? Two words: The Ladies.

I don't want to say my mom is late on trends, but this morning she said, Have a shagadelic day, sweetheart.

A lot of people are looking for their soul mates. Along the way, it's nice to bump into some genital pals.