I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.
Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.
Corn is the only food you hold like corn.
If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about anything?
Life is like jury duty. Just do it and get it over with.
One phrase you don't want kicking off your obituary is, Never, in the long history of bungee jumping.