If you want to see what I'll look like as an old guy, check out any recent photo of me.
Dogs: the best friend you will ever have that pees on your couch and stays your friend.
If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.
Can you have a seance to summon the ghost of a dead zombie?
Earthquakes would be great if they could hit specific areas, like the parent lounge at a children's beauty pageant.
Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.