Have you ever had a gay friend lose weight and you can't decide if it's good news or not? Hey you look... great?
I have one phobia, snakes. And by snakes I mean intimacy.
Twitter is not a good place for people who feel they're being followed.
I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.
A big blizzard proves there's no global warming in the same way being out of milk proves there's no such thing as cows.
I don't really like myself, but I'm way into me, physically.