You will never experience less reality than when you are watching a reality show. You're watching people who aren't actors, put into situations created by people who aren't writers and they're second guessing how they think you would like to see them behave if this were a real situation, which it's not. And you are passively observing this; watching an amateur production of nothing. It's like a photo of a drawing of a hologram.

Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.

Christ was born in a manger, laying down amongst donkeys ang goats. He was given gifts of incense and perfume. No kidding.

I'm of the generation of kids where the G.I. Joe's developed Kung Fu Grip right around the same time I did.

There's a big difference between poll workers and pole workers. Sadly.

The more women walk around in sweat pants, the harder it is to tell who's out jogging and who's running away from a mugger.

I feel sorry for high school teams still named the Cougars. Now what does the coach say? Get out there and play like horny old ladies!