One of the coolest things about the word boobs is, when you look at it, it has boobs.
If God had wanted women to have giant, fake boobs he'd be a lot like my brother.
To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.
Having kids means there's always someone around to blame your fart on.
Women are like pumpkins; you search and search for the perfect one, bring it home, and the next thing you know, you're looking for a knife.
If The Beatles represent the most successful version you can be of a thing, then by that definition The Rolling Stones are The Beatles of music, not counting The Beatles. John Lennon is The Beatles of The Beatles.