If Jesus was a baby, there was a point, on that Holiest of nights, in that Holiest of mangers, where he made a big, Holy load.

The hole on the face of an acoustic guitar is called the sound hole. The one of the face of its player is called the sincerity hole.

What's a farmer's market without some guy singing Here Comes The Sun in a way that makes you wish the sun would stop coming up.

A lot of people think my sarcasm comes from insecurity and defensiveness, but I assure you I'm just being petty and cruel.

The more women walk around in sweat pants, the harder it is to tell who's out jogging and who's running away from a mugger.

It's been years since any hillbilly has reported getting sodomized by an alien. Did they break up and not tell us?

My fantasy football team got mixed up in another fantasy and now they're stuck on a pirate ship with a chick in a Catwoman suit.