Take away the robots and the special effects, and Star Wars is just the simple story of a group of friends planning a terrorist attack.

Showing joy by jumping up and down and clapping goes away at some point between pre-school and being old enough to go to orgies.

Cowboy boots with a suit? You're a rough, tough businessman. Chaps with a bow tie? You're in the rough, tough man business.

Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise.

The Elephant Man claimed his head was big because, it's so full of dreams. Actually, it's because his skull was shaped like a turkey.

Common sense dictates the term hot fudge sundae has a totally different meaning in prison.

I like to think of murder-suicide as extreme multitasking.