Take away the robots and the special effects, and Star Wars is just the simple story of a group of friends planning a terrorist attack.

Had an audition for a pilot today, but realized I could save gas and help the environment by pissing up a rope here at home!

Cowboy boots with a suit? You're a rough, tough businessman. Chaps with a bow tie? You're in the rough, tough man business.

I've grown tired of resting on my laurels and have decided to start resting on my failures.

I'm no longer afraid of not making enough mistakes.

I love it when dogs yawn. Especially when it's in the middle of another dog's speech.

Now that the Sanctity and Holiness of heterosexual marriage has been destroyed, are they going to cancel The Bachelor?