That which does not kill you isn't finished.

Competition is the death of art.

As hipster chicks age, and their skin starts to sag, tramp stamps sink below waistbands, like the sun slipping into the sea.

Cupcakes - when you want to watch your weight, but still feel the pride that comes with eating an entire cake.

I went to high school with some wonderful people, but my entire high school experience was just waiting to leave.

If I masturbate while Googling myself, which part is more redundant?

Do people in the Ku Klux Klan who die and come back as ghosts have to wear two sheets when attending the rally?