Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!

In an effort to look cool, I am going to stop shouting Hey, you! at airplanes.

Many stroke survivors look back on their attack as a stroke of luck. Of course, by luck they mean horrible paralysis.

Because of Bluetooth headsets, it's getting more and more difficult to tell who's schizophrenic and who's on a conference call.

Unshaven dudes in hoodies and ski caps look so hip and cool, until they too close to a grocery cart full of dented cans.

Now that the Sanctity and Holiness of heterosexual marriage has been destroyed, are they going to cancel The Bachelor?

If you read angry political blogs, substitute Obama with my daddy and you'll usually learn a lot about the author.