Approached literally, there's but a hair's difference between You'd better not pout, you'd better not cry, and Don't scream.

If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?

Strap On spelled backwards is No Parts. Just sayin'.

If I'm alone in the car and I fart, I still laugh at it. It's the little things that keep us civilised.

Always think twice before asking anything of anyone that ends in the words, on your face.

Christ was born in a manger, laying down amongst donkeys ang goats. He was given gifts of incense and perfume. No kidding.

A good competition for comedians would be where a comedian has a conversation and is then quizzed on what the other person says.