It's gonna be awesome! A suspected pedophile dunks my kids head in a bucket so when she dies she can live in an invisible castle. Set the alarm!

When homeless people go camping, how do they know?

Why do some bald guys grow ponytails? It it the same reason people too old to run always wear track shoes and sweat pants?

The weird thing about old Playboys is knowing that the naked woman is now an old lady. I said weird. I didn't say bad.

You have an obligation to challenge your fans and your viewers.

I'm of the generation of kids where the G.I. Joe's developed Kung Fu Grip right around the same time I did.

As hipster chicks age, and their skin starts to sag, tramp stamps sink below waistbands, like the sun slipping into the sea.