It's gonna be awesome! A suspected pedophile dunks my kids head in a bucket so when she dies she can live in an invisible castle. Set the alarm!

When I found out that coffins are padded, I stopped fearing death.

Catholic Church reasserts its moral authority on contraception: If God believed in birth control, altar boys would have a uterus.

I tried synchronized swimming, but felt, over time, I was just going through the motions.

Common sense dictates the term hot fudge sundae has a totally different meaning in prison.

How do I ask my shrink to stop responding to everything I say with, Too much information! and then giggling behind a pillow?

For men there are costumes like fireman, policeman and vampire. For women there are costumes like slutty fireman, slutty policeman and slutty vampire.