It's gonna be awesome! A suspected pedophile dunks my kids head in a bucket so when she dies she can live in an invisible castle. Set the alarm!

Getting plastic surgery in your late 70's, it's kind of like painting your house as the fire approaches. Just die, there's no shame in it.

Have you noticed since Global Warming took hold that all the snowmen look kind of angry?

I like to think of murder-suicide as extreme multitasking.

Always think twice before asking anything of anyone that ends in the words, on your face.

Even if I say, Everyone in the village died of diarrhea, I still laugh a little after diarrhea.

Gorillas would be less scary with bunny ears. Actually, what isn't less scary with bunny ears? Osama Bin Laden with bunny ears. Ha! So cute.