The simple act of smiling at people makes the world a better place. Unless it's the day you decide to walk around with your dong out.

Showing joy by jumping up and down and clapping goes away at some point between pre-school and being old enough to go to orgies.

The expression working like a dog dates back to a time in America when men would rise early, then lie around all day and lick their balls.

I love it when dogs yawn. Especially when it's in the middle of another dog's speech.

In an effort to look cool, I am going to stop shouting Hey, you! at airplanes.

I don't mind being alone when I'm surrounded by people, I just hate being alone when I'm alone.

The circus goes from town to town, so why run away to join it? It should be, I've decided to wait for the circus to come.