Let's all start wearing bolo ties, and when they become hip again, we'll all say we were kidding.

Whoever coined the phrase, killing two birds with one stone, not only hated birds but also thought we needed to conserve stones.

Somewhere a woman is praying her toddler wins a beauty pageant. I say this because sometimes people wonder why God lets tornadoes happen.

If you don't believe in the living dead, how do your explain the Golf Channel?

Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!

Just saw a woman with a big tattoo of Jesus on her back. I guess it's an ixnay on the oggy style-day.

I bet when all the punctuation marks have a party, they quietly look at exclamation point's wife and think, that poor woman.