Let's all start wearing bolo ties, and when they become hip again, we'll all say we were kidding.

Corn is the only food you hold like corn.

When all the people covered in tattoos turn about 70 years old, they're going to look like a strange race of melting clowns.

Gorillas would be less scary with bunny ears. Actually, what isn't less scary with bunny ears? Osama Bin Laden with bunny ears. Ha! So cute.

If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?

Somewhere a woman is praying her toddler wins a beauty pageant. I say this because sometimes people wonder why God lets tornadoes happen.

I like my coffee the way I like my women: after waiting impatiently in a long line.