Gorillas would be less scary with bunny ears. Actually, what isn't less scary with bunny ears? Osama Bin Laden with bunny ears. Ha! So cute.

If I masturbate while Googling myself, which part is more redundant?

If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?

To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.

I went to high school with some wonderful people, but my entire high school experience was just waiting to leave.

I like my coffee the way I like my women: after waiting impatiently in a long line.

The hole on the face of an acoustic guitar is called the sound hole. The one of the face of its player is called the sincerity hole.