Gorillas would be less scary with bunny ears. Actually, what isn't less scary with bunny ears? Osama Bin Laden with bunny ears. Ha! So cute.

Every Thanksgiving we feed the homeless so they may join us as we celebrate other people finding a home.

Let's all start wearing bolo ties, and when they become hip again, we'll all say we were kidding.

I'm the Forrest Gump of comedy.

Is there an award for the best trophy? I bet they hand out a plaque.

When all the people covered in tattoos turn about 70 years old, they're going to look like a strange race of melting clowns.

Do people in the Ku Klux Klan who die and come back as ghosts have to wear two sheets when attending the rally?