Gorillas would be less scary with bunny ears. Actually, what isn't less scary with bunny ears? Osama Bin Laden with bunny ears. Ha! So cute.

Is there an award for the best trophy? I bet they hand out a plaque.

There's nothing like a clown with a boner to remind you that you're having a nightmare.

I love my dog, but since the kids came along, the petting has gone out of our relationship.

Here's something you never hear: Now that I've worked through all my emotional issues, I'm free to dedicate my life to ventriloquism!

I don't mind being alone when I'm surrounded by people, I just hate being alone when I'm alone.

Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise.