A great way to be left alone on the subway is to appear to be deep in conversation with a small knife.

A lot of people are looking for their soul mates. Along the way, it's nice to bump into some genital pals.

If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?

Because of Bluetooth headsets, it's getting more and more difficult to tell who's schizophrenic and who's on a conference call.

Even if I say, Everyone in the village died of diarrhea, I still laugh a little after diarrhea.

That which does not kill you isn't finished.

A good competition for comedians would be where a comedian has a conversation and is then quizzed on what the other person says.