Having sex with a dead grammar teacher is a violation of past tense usage.

Because of Bluetooth headsets, it's getting more and more difficult to tell who's schizophrenic and who's on a conference call.

Every time the circus comes to town, I can't help thinking, Somewhere out there, there's clown semen.

I am faced with a bruising dilemma: pay to fix the dishwasher or continue serving everything in waffle cones.

Is it still okay to make fun of schizophrenics? There's a little voice in my head that says no.

Wrote a science fiction novel about a man who wins an argument with his wife, but it was rejected for being too farfetched.

Very few positive experiences begin with being told to count back slowly from ten.