The expression working like a dog dates back to a time in America when men would rise early, then lie around all day and lick their balls.

Christ was born in a manger, laying down amongst donkeys ang goats. He was given gifts of incense and perfume. No kidding.

Having kids means there's always someone around to blame your fart on.

You rarely get a convincing lecture on playing to your strength from a bald guy with a ponytail.

A good competition for comedians would be where a comedian has a conversation and is then quizzed on what the other person says.

I went to high school with some wonderful people, but my entire high school experience was just waiting to leave.

Republicans don't believe government works, and get into it to prove it will fail. Same with strippers and relationships.