I don't have to do anything for anyone else's benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations.

I feel like people who don't brag are trying to make you jealous by thinking they're hiding something more even exciting.

I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.

I'm willing to write a check for $10,000 if someone can bring to me what I fell is ruining thousands of lives, destroying lives everyday. And I know that you know it's a little thing called Chupacabra.

I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.

I don't like littering and I think it leads to terrorist activities.

When somebody says I wouldn't change a thing they're thinking of something they would change.