Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.

I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it.

It's the worst feeling when you come home alone late at night and think the stranger sitting on your couch is a pile of clothes.

The key to attempting to create art in some aspect is also knowing that it will turn some people off.

I love singing along to the radio while I'm riding in the back of a squad car.

What happens in Vegas, I'm telling everyone.

I was very good at kickball ... I was wonderful at ah doing that kick and your leg goes up and your shoe went on top of the school