Every time you come in from cheating on someone, they'll just whip out the most adorable term of endearment. Like, they'll wake up, bright and early, sleep in their eyes and say: "Hey, perfect."

I'm really great in other peoples relationships.

Sometimes girls act all TNT Network because they know drama. That's when guys get all TBS around you because we think it's very funny.

True love is when you're cheating on a person but the thought of them still makes your eyes smile!

My fam is just a regular family. But all of them have great senses of humor.

I don't know if I could kill someone with a frozen turkey because that is a lot of evidence to eat .... unless I found a whole room of people who also wanted that person dead.

When you see somebody walking down the street wearing a Superman t-shirt, you just want to shoot them in the chest ... when they start to bleed go, I guess not