I saw a young boy eating an ice cream cone, ... I smashed it in his face. You know that kid is going to remember me when he's 50.

When you don't have love, it's like there's a party going on, and everybody was invited, except for you. And you just happened to be walking by that house in the rain...

If you lie to a person at least tell someone else you've lied to the truth. It balances out your karma.

Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!

They used to beat me up after Sunday School, I used to get beat up... yeah, that's a nice little thank you from Jesus.

I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles.

I don't know if I could kill someone with a frozen turkey because that is a lot of evidence to eat .... unless I found a whole room of people who also wanted that person dead.