I say it with my tongue firmly planted in cheek but there's truth to it - being a comedian is very close to being a therapist. When you're working smaller clubs, you're listening. You're feeling an energy, you're going with a tone but when people start yelling out, you almost start a conversation with people.

You know your girls up to no good when her and her friends make a pact to post nothing on Instagram.

I would love to have acidy spit.

Then it was snack time, right in the middle of mass. Right out of nowhere, the priest would look down and say, 'Let's have some yum yums!' You would get in line - you would jump in the line - and you would go up and get the crouton O'Christ.

When you don't have love, it's like there's a party going on, and everybody was invited, except for you. And you just happened to be walking by that house in the rain...

I'm bringing back the skinny tie but wearing it tied around my balls.

You are the director of your own life story. Don't cast idiots or people will walk out during your 2nd act.