I'm curious by individuals that embrace half a story so they can justify how incomplete they feel about their own self worth.

Pain only hurts when you are looking for a reason to quit. You don't feel a thing when you know you can still win.

You can easily tell if a person is lying and cheating on you if they say, I love you. I would never lie to you or cheat on you.

I say it with my tongue firmly planted in cheek but there's truth to it - being a comedian is very close to being a therapist. When you're working smaller clubs, you're listening. You're feeling an energy, you're going with a tone but when people start yelling out, you almost start a conversation with people.

Why do they call it the restroom? Is there anybody just resting in this room?

I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...

When a guy says "I have no idea what you're talking about" it means "I'm thinking of exactly what you're saying I did while I lie to you."