I'm curious by individuals that embrace half a story so they can justify how incomplete they feel about their own self worth.

Sometimes, when you want to make a difference in a person's life, stay out of it.

I've always read books and loved human behavior since I was ten or twelve years old. Maybe even that's why I wanted to do comedy.

I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it.

Any guy that refers to dating women as the hunt or being on the prowl should be evaluated for a number of conditions.

I would still have old ladies come up to me after the show and pat me on the cheek after I had said all this vulgar stuff. They would be like, 'Oh you're a silly boy - we know you're just playing.

There was a girl I loved in high school - but never spoke to. Cut to my five-year reunion: I'm an entirely different person.