Comedy is immediate. Comedy is a solo mission. You're all by yourself, up there. And when you're in a film, on a set, it's a collaborative effort. It's about me being a tool for somebody else to create a story and a character from nothing, from their imagination.

I miss dating only for that final moment you kiss goodnight, watch her get out of your car and run into the police station.

I'm fine, I am just going to go over here and puke shards of my own pelvis into this bush.

It's hard to be happy for someone when you know deep down they'd kill you if they had the chance.

My professional dreams were coming true while I was living a personal nightmare.

I feel like I was born and bred to stay self-motivated. I'm not one of those people who ho-hums and feels sorry for himself when something's bad.

Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.