It's hard to be happy for someone when you know deep down they'd kill you if they had the chance.

Three weeks ago one of my dreams came true. I finally got to see something I always wanted to witness live. I finally saw someone get hit by a car... Nailed!

I don't know if I could kill someone with a frozen turkey because that is a lot of evidence to eat .... unless I found a whole room of people who also wanted that person dead.

When I'm wrong I'm like the Emperor on the Death Star thinking he'll turn Luke. Yet, when I'm right I'm a Jedi like my father before me.

How do you fall into a lion's den, that is my first question there, you think you would be extra carefull around a den of lions.

My grandmother died of natural causes. Or as my family calls it murdered by the lord.

Sometimes sex is just a way to escape having to talk to that person.