If you lie to a person at least tell someone else you've lied to the truth. It balances out your karma.

Created a word game to play with a person you're fighting with. Silent Treatment. Nothing happens until one of you quietly says, Hey, you hungry?

Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.

When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.

It's not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or want to drink or do drugs.

I'm fine, I am just going to go over here and puke shards of my own pelvis into this bush.

Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!