I just get excited doing shows. Off stage I am actually very feeble and must be spoon-fed because my hands are too brittle.

I would love to have acidy spit.

I'm not racist, I've got a black president.

You know your gut instincts are spot on about a person when you can also detect a water source in the soil beneath them.

The whole thing with comedy is that you are always in control. Writer, director, actor, producer, and sometimes bouncer. And you are just a piece of their puzzle.

When you're on a movie set and you are hopefully making a comedy, everyone's stifling their laughter. You're looking at the crew guys, hoping someone is making that face like, and not like, this is not working out, man.

Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.