I was home educated but would skip my lessons to go hang out at school.
Some people have constipation of the brain but their mouth has the runs.
There's estrogen running through my veins!
I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
When I have a really hot date at a show, I definitely make it a point to use her name. The girls really love that.
Every time you come in from cheating on someone, they'll just whip out the most adorable term of endearment. Like, they'll wake up, bright and early, sleep in their eyes and say: "Hey, perfect."