You can't teach an old hater new truths.

My favorite sexual position is when the girl is facing Mecca and I am fighting off a wolf.

I love hecklers. They remind you that you are a comedian.

On stage I am the actor, director and the bouncer all at the same time. Fear does not exist in this dojo does it? No Sensi! Sorry when I get excited I have to toss in some Karate Kid quotes.

This is a dream come true. HBO is the highest echelon in the world for a stand-up comedian to attain. Throughout my career I've trusted my instincts to lead me down the right path, and I am honored to work together with this network while contributing to the legacy that is HBO.

I'm really great in other peoples relationships.

I live my life like there's no yesterday.