I love hecklers. They remind you that you are a comedian.

After you have loss in your life and after you experience something like losing your parents, the greatest gift of that was it prepared me for [anything]. Nothing else is as scary, and certainly stand-up comedy is not as scary as sitting there with your mom and having to have last conversations and things like that. It's heavy stuff, but it's enlightening because it makes me think I shouldn't be afraid of sharing ideas and thoughts with people. It's the yin and the yang of life.

They used to beat me up after Sunday School, I used to get beat up... yeah, that's a nice little thank you from Jesus.

I've lived (in LA) for so long, I don't even know what is real and what isn't anymore.

Some people give you that motivation to work harder simply to get the hell away from wherever they are.

You have to have a strong sense of humor to date me, and also know that you're probably going to be a part of the routine quite a bit.

There was a girl I loved in high school - but never spoke to. Cut to my five-year reunion: I'm an entirely different person.