I am going to name a group of my kids after my favorite cartoons, I am going to name them after Transformers.

Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.

I never leave a dog alone in a car on a hot day. I make sure it's with an elderly person holding a baby.

People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.

Saw a lost dog sign with a pic of the dog and a little boy hugging it. I'm assuming the kids safe and we're just focusing on the pooch.

I would still have old ladies come up to me after the show and pat me on the cheek after I had said all this vulgar stuff. They would be like, 'Oh you're a silly boy - we know you're just playing.

What happens in Vegas, I'm telling everyone.