Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.

Anger has a way of seeping into every other emotion and planting itself in there.

You know what I'd like to be able to do more than anything else? I'd love to be able to shoot spaghetti out of my fingertips. Pppptthhh! Cause no one wants to be covered in spaghetti. No. If I'm on a date with a girl and she's very rude, I'd be like, You know what? Pppptthhh! Enjoy your spaghetti, you're very rude. Enjoy your spaghetti, cause you're rude. Pppptthhh!

You must accept responsibility for your actions. This doesn't include reactions, interactions or transactions if you're thinkin' loophole.

There will be a guy in a yellow poncho, his name is Hank, he will take you to the whopper lair.

You have to have a strong sense of humor to date me, and also know that you're probably going to be a part of the routine quite a bit.

Dear semi hot girl taking photos on a boat. It's not your boat so stop acting like you own it. You drive a used Civic.