I'm watching some television tonight. I'm watching The Discovery Channel. You know, this channel, you never ever plan on watching this. It just happens. You're flickin' around, all of a sudden - boom - you're watching a mole for an hour-and-a-half.

When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.

Drive, ego and cocksureness are all essential elements in terms of getting exactly what you want but losing everything you've got.

I love singing along to the radio while I'm riding in the back of a squad car.

I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.

I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.

I had never done a roast, but I really wanted to, because it's so different from standup.