I've lived (in LA) for so long, I don't even know what is real and what isn't anymore.

I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.

In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak.

I don't write any of my material down. I like to improvise and be spontaneous.

I want to be able to challenge myself. And do things that are away from what I usually do. Stand-up is safe for me. I can do stand-up in front of twenty-five thousand people, and I'm like, "I know how to do this. This is what I do." I want to be a little scared.

When you're not in love, when you don't have love, everybody you know falls in love.

The key to attempting to create art in some aspect is also knowing that it will turn some people off.