I work with a lot of kids. Every year, for the past fifteen years, I work at Comedy Camp where I work with a lot of kids.

You need to open up your soul and have a weep-a-thon.

This is a dream come true. HBO is the highest echelon in the world for a stand-up comedian to attain. Throughout my career I've trusted my instincts to lead me down the right path, and I am honored to work together with this network while contributing to the legacy that is HBO.

Any guy that refers to dating women as the hunt or being on the prowl should be evaluated for a number of conditions.

There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.

Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.

I found someones passport on the ground tonight. Where do you sell these things?