I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles.

If you live far away from a person you no longer want to date just let them know that they are geographically undesirable.

In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak.

When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.

Text a guy you like right now, "I'm thinking about you." If he says, "mmm are you in bed?" Never speak to him again he's a lifelong moron.

Some girls look beautiful with no makeup on at all. I call them lazy. Now go throw some war paint on you bleak empty canvas you.

I don't like littering and I think it leads to terrorist activities.